The Mighty Pursuit of Purpose

My sister-in-law gifted me the beautiful (aesthetically and prose-wise) book “GraceLaced” by Ruth Chou Simons for my birthday. Ruth is a mama to six boys, the youngest of whom is 3. She is a talented watercolor artist and writer. And she’s a mom to – I’ll say it again – SIX BOYS. As I leaf through this gorgeous book, I have so many questions for Ruth. But my main inquiry would be, “When did you write this?!”

I have one toddler. One. And I struggle to find writing windows. So Ruth, if you’re reading this, please tell me how you tacked hours onto your days.

Not only did she write this book, but she did all of the art for it, which is not something you can sprint through during nap time. Here’s my problem: I’m inspired by Ruth. I’d like to be able to author a book whilst raising six kids (just kidding, Matt, I only want 5 😉 ). But the life she’s leading is also daunting for a couple of reasons:

1. She has six kids. Anyone who has six kids is some sort of super human.

2. You know those people who seem to do it all/have it all? They can act and sing and dance and they are also easy on the eyes (Recent examples: Hugh Jackman and Zac Efron in The Greatest Showman. Or Emma Watson in Beauty and the Beast). Or I know people like this in the swimming world- who seemed to get an extra serving of talent for pursuits beyond the pool (I’m thinking of the extraordinary three-time Olympian Elizabeth Beisel who also happens to be a pianist and violinist and probably a fantastic singer. And she’s hilarious. May this be a public declaration of my love for you, Beisel).

Ruth comes across as one of those people.

These people can either separate us from our goals or propel us towards them. Rachel Hollis is a hot name right now.  Her 2018 release “Girl, Wash Your Face” made her into a #1 NYT Bestseller. She has four kids. Founded her own media company (sans a college degree). Runs a podcast with her adorable husband. Rachel is undoubtedly inspiring and she lives to be an encouragement, not a measure of her readers’ inadequacies. Her book is like a three-hour pep rally (because you’ll read it fast), revving you up to commit to some lofty goals and go get ’em.

Sure, these people have a lot of talent. And we can do what I often do, say “Well, they’re good at so many things! It’s easy for them to excel when they’ve been given so many gifts.” But surely they aren’t doing all they do to make others feel inferior.

They’re all ambitious, but they likely weren’t born that way; trying to walk before their baby friends. This was a honed trait. They saw sparks at some point and had the desire to make fire (I play with fire too often while writing…sorry…I can’t seem to stop).

Our nation lost a public servant and particularly ambitious man last week, John McCain. I was watching a public media special on McCain and was struck by how he came back from his five and a half years as a POW in Vietnam a very changed man — physically, yes. Mentally, completely transformed.

He was given shoddy medical treatment after breaking both arms and a leg caused by a forced ejection from his plane. Those patched up injuries were never given a chance to heal during his years of routine torture.

When the Vietnamese realized McCain’s father was Naval commander of all Pacific forces, they offered an early release to the young pilot. But McCain remained in the camp, refusing to be a propaganda tool displaying Vietnam’s “mercy”. He wanted every American released alongside him. He stayed at the camp for another two years. What he endured was unimaginable.

“In prison, I fell in love with my country. I had loved her before then, but like most young people, my affection was little more than a simple appreciation for the comforts and privileges most Americans enjoyed and took for granted. It wasn’t until I had lost America for a time that I realized how much I loved her.” – John McCain

After returning home, he knew what he’d been given – not just his talents, but his country – and he felt a moral obligation to use his gifts to serve.

“You’ll know that to serve this country is to serve its ideals. The ideals that considers every child on Earth as made in the image of God and endowed with dignity and the rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. It is a noble cause, it is your cause and it is worth living and dying for.”

We’re made in the image of God, endowed with dignity and rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. OK, I promise I’m about to come full circle, or try to. After years as a POW, I imagine one is entitled to some embitterment and self-pity. But McCain seemed to waste no time reliving his personal hell. Instead, he was invigorated by all he had been given and had a renewed sense of purpose.

When are you the happiest? When you’re shopping? Consuming ice cream? Being showered in compliments? Those definitely provide a very temporal form of happiness. But I’d never stretch that happiness and call it lasting joy.

I dare to say you’re the happiest when you’re feeling full of purpose. When you’re investing in your finest qualities endowed to you by your maker. And the most wondrous thing about those qualities is they aren’t just for you.

Actors, as vain as many come across (and may well be), are providing us with some awe-inspiring performances. Athletes, as self-involved as they may be, are beautiful exhibits of gifts being developed with hard work (and the sculptural beauty of the human body!). Artists, though they may be filling their own cup as they paint, are bringing simple brushstrokes to life, evoking wonder in those gazing on their work. Politicians, as much as we may disagree with them, entered into that world to use their talents to make a difference.

When I look closely at people I admire most, I realize they’re in passionate pursuit of their personal potential. They know our talents were not meant to be closeted.

I don’t think we should be viewing these high achievers as I (and maybe you) do – as super humans. We all have stuff. Really great stuff. We shouldn’t let our excuses or sheer intimidation stifle that stuff.

Sure, I have a toddler. But I also LOVE to write. I’m adrenalized when I write. I don’t think God gave me this feeling (that “Big Magic” Elizabeth Gilbert talks about) to not feel it. And some people have told me they like it (thank you, even if you’re patronizing me). I think it’s my moral obligation to keep doing it. Maybe moral obligation is strong wording, but I’m going to leave it there. 🙂

Heroes of the world have gifts, just like you and I do. They’ve found what gives purpose and pursued it. And therein lies the difference. Pursuit. Sometimes we think it’s all about finding what we’re good at, but that’s just finding your lump of clay. It’s precious material, unique to you, but it needs steadfast handling in order to be formed into the shape it was destined to be.