To Skylar On Your 2nd Birthday

Dear Skylar,

Today you turn two.

In the months before you were born, we found out we were having a GIRL. I cried. For some reason your daddy and I were confident we were going to have a boy first. We were shocked, but not let down in the least. I cried because I knew the sacred soul connection between a mama and her daughter. Your Mimi and I have it. We’re effortless best buds. And I have faith you and I will share that someday too, Sky girl. Even if you refuse to give me hugs and kisses these days unless it’s your idea.

I look at photos from one year ago and see how much you’ve grown. Your hair is so long and your body has stretched several inches. You have new expressions. I love every face you make aside from that angry tantrum face. That’s still the stuff of nightmares. I’ll show you photos someday and you’ll agree. But then you get distracted by Elmo or food and all is right on your flawless face again.

You have words! So many words! You wake up every morning and list off all you see. “Light on! Book! Bunnies! Diaper! Peepee! Doggies home? Mama home!” You are bulking up your vocabulary more each day. This feeds your wordy mama’s soul!

I love how inquisitive you are. I love how wonder-full you are. Every hour, something new catches your eye and the definition of “wonder” is so exquisitely captured in your face.

Your love language is…all of them. But you love to please, therefore you love to be affirmed. If mama doesn’t give you a “Yes!” when you’re correct, you go ahead and affirm yourself (Points up and says “Airplane! Uh huh, yes!”).

Your fiery independence is burning brightly these days. You move constantly. Morning snuggles with cartoons are the most precious of times to your mama. You accidentally snuggle close as you slowly emerge from slumber land. But snuggles abruptly end when you hop off my lap in pursuit of your next pouch of apple sauce. Priorities.

You’ve made your daddy and I feel a love so intense we want to weep. Sometimes we do. It’s my favorite kind of crying– just an outpouring of love for my baby girl. We thought we loved our fur children, but that love does not hold a candle to the emotion you’ve drawn out of us. Your fur sisters are, no doubt, jealous of their human sister.

Sometimes we cannot fathom a more perfect daughter. Other times we see your inner demons. We were born with them too. And unfortunately sin is innate and it’s contagious. Your newfound defiance triggers mama’s anger and humbles me daily. We cannot mother and father as we want to. I need to ask God for help everyday. Thank you for that gift, Sky. The gift of acknowledging dependence. I hope you realize we have all sinned and fall short before you exhaust yourself endeavoring for perfection. That’s a futile effort. You remind me of that on the harder days.

I’m not going to do everything right for you in the next 16 years. I’m going to need to apologize to you, many times. But don’t ever doubt the ferocious love your mama has just for Skylar Lea. I was made to be your mama, you spirited spunky soul!

Happy 2 years, little bestie. Thanks for making our lives glisten. You’re the sweetest gift.