Boosting your own self worth

How many times have I tried to mentally/physically make myself feel more valuable? Countless times. Sure, we can busy ourselves, set high goals, volunteer, go to church, do everything we consider to be righteous and worthy and good. But truthfully, what builds your confidence?  I have done things in my life that I am proud of.  They inflated my ego for a moment, but it’s people’s response to accomplishments that magnify them. If LeBron plowed through four guys and managed a miraculous dunk without anyone watching, I am sure he would be thrilled momentarily.  But the fans are who make moments like that “immortal.” We and the analysts replay that move in our conversations and minds.  With every repetition, LeBron seems more impressive and more untouchable.  I do not think there is anything wrong with the fan’s response.  It’s what brings truly remarkable moments to center screen and inspires many.  But what if you are not a superstar, recognized by billions of people?  When pro athletes retire, they have a rough time finding confidence.

Difficult to post this. My two least favorite teams in the league. But shoot,  LeBron can play.

Ultimately, I think most people’s sense of self worth comes other people’s reactions to them. So it is no surprise that being on a team can feel so good.  When you accomplish something, not only are you helping your team, but you are getting recognized and applauded by your teammates.  Volunteering is another example.  Going to a homeless shelter and feeding the needy are not super popular things to do.  This makes it all the more rewarding.  Whenever I do something novel, it distinguishes me from the rest of the world, in turn making me feel more valuable.  Is this why I like watching old movies and trying restaurants most people have not heard of.  Yes, I think it is.  It makes me unusual, just like kids in high school who “discover” an underground band before they’re cool feel like they beat people to coolness.  Funny wiring we humans have, eh?

I will be open and honest.  I have struggled with self worth lately and hate the feeling.  I have always been proud of my confidence, wit, and strength.  I feel like all of my favorite traits have faded and I am in search of a new bolster.  Here comes the Sunday school answer, which I believe to be true.

For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. 
Romans 3:23

So we are all equally imperfect.  There is nothing I can do to make myself a higher quality sinner than you.  I like this level playing field. I will never forget what one of my favorite massage therapists of all time told me after she working at the NBA All-Star Game.  Being a lifelong San Antonio Spurs fan, I was so anxious to hear which big wigs my therapist worked on!  After I asked, she said, “I’m not sure, Annie.” What???? How could you not know? She saw my jaw drop and said, “People are people.” Wow. So simple, yet so profound! He might be really great at dunking an inflated ball, but Jenn is really great at healing inflamed fascia. We all have our strengths and weaknesses.  Some are just more eye-catching than others.  Gosh, she’s a wise lady.

Let me be clear on this next verse.  I do not think we should not feel good after we help someone out.  I believe that “feel good” flush we get after serving someone is God-given and natural.  The motive of serving is where I often am confused.  I remember a friend of mine saying she was minoring in special education. “Doesn’t that make me sound like a good person?” she said, jokingly.  But really,  how many people volunteer, not to serve, but to be a “good person.”  I know my motive has been more about reputation than action before.  Here’s what Romans says:

We who are strong have an obligation to bear with the failings of the weak, and not to please ourselves. Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. 
Romans 15: 1-2 

Our joy and reward is to spring from the building up of our neighbor.  I love the wording of this.  To “build up” entails far more than just helping a friend move.  When I try to build someone up, I am concerned about their person.  I will encourage and listen and do whatever I can to help with someone’s struggle in order to build up.

I’ve always sought to be an encouragement to others.  As my social circle shrinks, the less opportunities I have to build up.  In my experience, lives devoted to service are the most fulfilling.  Goal:  to expand my circle with a motive to build up my friends and acquaintances.