I don’t often go to Whole Foods, but when I do, I smile because I remember a day so terrible it became funny. I woke up one morning, filled my mug of coffee to the brim, and sat down with my phone and computer to check emails. I went to take that first sip, anxious for my good morning hug from caffeine. Instead, caffeine punched me in the gut. My mug broke off it’s handle and left me, my computer and my phone saturated in hot Hawaiian Hazelnut. I wanted to yell at someone, but it was just a crappy mug that failed me at an inopportune time. I had just started a new job and really needed my computer, which was drowning in joe. I took my computer to the Apple Store. “Oh, it’s bad. You’ll probably need to replace it…or try Simutek.” I went to Simutek- “We’ll see if we can salvage it.” Then I went to order t-shirts (from Starbuck Design) for my new employer, then decided to stop at Whole Foods to grab a bite. As I wandered the aisles of Whole Foods, I received a lot of conspicuous stares. I did not know if I should take the gawks as an ego boost, or if there was something very wrong with my appearance. It proved to be the latter. A hippie cowboy, the sort you’d only find in Whole Foods, approached me and right off the bat asked me if I was aware of the rip in the rear end of my shorts. Why no, I was not. Thank you, kind sir, for so awkwardly informing me. I craned my neck around to peer at my bum and was petrified. I had done a tour de Tucson with a good part of my toosh hanging out. I loved those shorts. They were so airy and comfortable, I had not noticed the extra ventilation.
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| RIP shorts. You’re welcome, Tucson. |
I ended up buying a tank top at Whole Foods and tying it around my waist to shield my cheek. That tank served me well as a shirt in it’s future life. Today at Whole Foods, I had no wardrobe malfunction, but did choose to stop by their modest display of organic, fair trade clothing. I’m a sucker for maxi dresses and alas, they had long, high-quality, maxis hanging right next to the sausage aisle. My mom always finds darling things at Walgreens and H-E-B, so I was due to make a grocery apparel purchase. My Fourth of July dress! Find it in aisle 8 at Whole Foods 🙂
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| $39 by Threads for Thought |
