“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?
Matthew 7:3
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| In case you were needing a Lego visual… |
I do not know what a plank in the eye would feel like, but it sounds painful and blinding. I was going to say most judgement I pass on other people are unfair, but really, ALL judgement I pass on others is unfair. This has always been a challenge, especially in girl world. We learn to gossip at an early age, without knowing what our conversations have become. I remember my middle school carpool…we would poke fun at people for entire rides to and from practice, unless my mom was driving. I used to be embarrassed when my mom would cut off entire conversations because, simply put, “It’s not nice to gossip.” Anytime I pass judgements on or speak of a person critically behind their back, I do not feel good after the conversation. It innately feels wrong, because I would hate to drop in on a conversation in the room of people speaking about me…”Man, her arms are unnaturally big. I mean, her thighs are so bulgy it looks like her jeans are stretched to full capacity.” Guys will struggle to comprehend this muscle commentary as critical, but that’s how it’s received by this female mind.
I pass judgements all day long in my head. Everyone is a worse driver than me. Everyone is moving too slowly. Everyone is eating worse than me. When I speak to kids at swim clinics I tell a story about my first club swim coach. He was a strong, ex-military man, who terrified me by threatening push-ups and remaining stone-faced throughout my first club practice. I unfairly judged him as a mean, insensitive guy. There’s no way this man could make me a better swimmer. He doesn’t want this to be fun.
After a little bribery (Speedo swim bag if I lasted through the first meet) from my dad, I had incentive to give Coach Mel another chance. I got to know his broad, genuine smile and his jovial, belly laugh. He had five kids and swimming was not pinnacle in his life. He brought a briefcase to every practice filled with emergency medical supplies, including Midol and tampons for his awkward middle school swimmers. He quickly became like a second dad to me, and exposed one of my greatest misjudgements of character. Coach Mel went to 2004 Olympic Trials with me, after my current coach had to back out due to a family emergency. I’ll never forget Mel telling 16-year-old Annie that he thought she could make the Olympic team right then and there. I assumed he was joking, but he never cracked a smile. He made me feel like I could compete with these legends I was collecting autographs from in Long Beach. I got 56th place and missed the team by probably over 6 seconds. Sorry, Coach! But Coach Mel had so much belief in me! I love him and just reminiscing about my years with Mel brings on some cheery tears. I’m so thankful I was not permitted to go with my gut judgement and ditch this guy.
“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”
James 1:19
This aligns well with passing judgement upon others. Here’s a common conversation scenario in my life:
I’m often slow to listen, quick to want/need to speak, and angered by the person’s inability to hear me out. Pretty much as far off the verse as you can get, while still passing judgement on the person for not letting me speak.
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| wonderfully said |
Yep, I have a plank in my eye! And man, it hurts and I struggle to see the truth past it.
