Because the bottom line simply is: If you aren’t encouraging women to live out their particular calling, you may just be idolizing a particular idealized form of yourself.
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| Voskamp Fam |
The words of Ann Voskamp, author of NY Times bestseller “One Thousand Gifts”, mother and teacher to six kids, and supportive wife to the Farmer (how she refers to him). I read Ann’s book last year, which is all about thankfulness. Ann has endured the loss of a child, but exudes strength and grace in the face of her sufferings. Her writing is flowing with flowery streams of consciousness, and was a little too sentimental for me at times, but the central message of the book stuck.
I have never had an issue with alone time. There’s a point where I can OD on alone time, but I enjoy rising early to have the excitement of a day before me and some quiet moments to reflect on momentary joys. Like now. Our puppy Gretel has her head resting on my foot and the only noise in the house is her peaceful deep breath. Being thankful for these moments was one of the goals of “One Thousand Gifts.” I remember Ann writing about her admiration for the brilliant colors reflected in the soap suds in her kitchen sink. Yeah, she knows how to dig for goodness in life. I am not sure I have ever found much to admire in my kitchen sink.
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| awwww |
Her quote above came from her blog. Go take a look at the entry if you’ve got time. As a bestselling author and one of Christianity’s leading ladies of influence today, Ann leads a juxtaposed life. She’s sold over a million copies of her book and has given all of the proceeds away. She did not write the book to get rich. Her success has introduced many opportunities to complicate her simple, lovely farm life. If she has opportunities to speak on her faith, she wants to, but she never wants to neglect being a good wife, mama, and mentor.
High expectations abound in woman world. These are the things 26-year-old me expects of myself and feels others expect of me:
- ongoing education
- progressing down an impressive-sounding career path
- starting a family
- cooking optimally nutritious meals (unless MG grills)
- cleaning the house, enough to be sanitary
- being as fit as a professional athlete
- looking put-together (but I was raised with three older brothers, so I never quite learned)
- managing our rental house
- volunteering
- ravenously reading
- writing for publication
OK. That’s all. First off. The first three bullet points can each fill your plate independently. “Impressive-sounding” has been blindingly important to me. Why? We obsess over credentials, because that’s how we feel we’re defined. Being a National Team swimmer sounded impressive. Anytime you can be considered worthy of wearing USA, you must be important.
I have a pocket of time in my life to write, work at my whimsical store, and educate myself on whatever I choose. Many people do not get this loosely scheduled life until retirement, which leaves me feeling guilty and judged, instead of blessed. Voskamp’s quote was appealing to me because I often feel people want me to live my life as they lead theirs. This has a profound impression on me, whether that’s their intention or not. I’m not hiding behind a rock, I know I’m guilty of doing this as well. I have suggested methodologies I’ve implemented in my life and feel are fool proof, only to see them not work for the person I advised. I’ve pursued counsel from many people I admire about my career options. Every person I love and respect has said “be grateful for this bonus time…I wish they had it.”
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| Nooyi Family |
Voskamp takes wisdom from the CEO of Pepsi Co. Indra Nooyi. I just read a New York Times article on executive spouses, which features Indra and other female executives. Indra has two kids and her husband is a stay-at-home dad. She admits she has not been the best mom or wife, because there’s no way to be a CEO and a good mom and a good wife. She gives her husband infinite praises for his patience and support.
It’s refreshing to hear Nooyi, one of Fortune‘s 50 Most Powerful Women in the World, frankly state she cannot do it all. On paper, it sounds like she’s got it all. CEO, a supportive husband and two kids. I’m mentally trained to want to do everything, but I learned the hard way in swimming that something will always suffer if you try to give all out efforts in every area of life. We need to prioritize and we need not feel judged for prioritizing relationships above all. I’m preaching to myself here 🙂
