If you read my last post, you know I’ve been raised with a certain type of Christmas. A holiday always held in San Antonio with its own protocol. Never with snow on the ground. We always prayed for sleet, because that seemed festive in the great state of Texas. Now I’m a married lady and my family has doubled in numbers. This is our second married Christmas, so we’ve now had one married Christmas in Texas and this year’s was in Chicago. But Matt spent the last five Christmases with the Chandlers. I look back on that and feel sort of terrible. I stole Matt away from his awesome family and assumed he’d want to tag along to Texas…every year. I know it’s a tough call and all you married folks know it takes time to find a balance system. Our scale is pretty lopsided right now…
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| Matt’s mama, Anja, cooking up apple flappen. |
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| Andy and his fiance, Harriet, enjoying the deep-fried fruit of Anja’s labor. |
We decided last year or early this year that this Christmas would be spent with the Grevers fam. It was about time. Matt’s folks are from Holland, so my introduction to Dutch culture began when I started dating Matt in 2008. Before our first meal of this 2014 holiday, Matt’s mom announced that we would be having a very Dutch Christmas. The first meal was Indonesian, which is integrated into Dutch culture because the Dutch once controlled Indonesia. We’ve also had apple flappen (deep-fried apple cuts sprinkled in powdered sugar) and croquettes (deep-fried minced meat, egg and onion batter). Yes, the Grevers Christmas has proved to be as indulgent with fried goodies as the Chandler Christmas is with sweets. We opened presents after Christmas mass and all of the Grevers girls and future Grevers (Harriet) received slippers made to look like traditional Dutch wooden clogs. Far more comfortable though. Matt’s folks still speak Dutch to one another and Carolyn (Matt’s sister) understands and speaks it well. Somehow MG and his brother escaped the household without learning their parents’ native tongue, although I think they understand more than they think. i.e. While hearing Dutch (what sounds like “enge fleppen dogna len aapen”) Matt will turn to me and say, “You understood that, right? It sounds just like English.” Yeah, just like English, dear.
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| Let the Papa Grevers have the real wooden clogs. We’ll take the plush versions. |
This mixing of holidays and marriage thing has made me reevaluate the way I think about family. I’m sure a lot of people are like me, and grow up with a family superiority complex. Or maybe that’s just a Texan-Chandler pride thing. I always thought, “there’s no family as fun as my family,” but what other family did I know even one percent as well? Nada one. I think about Matt, sitting through his first Chandler Christmas. At the time, I was not a great girlfriend/did not know how to properly ration my attentions between Matt and my family. So I think I threw most attention toward my family. MG was probably longing to be with those people he felt like he did not have to try to woo. Instead he went on cramped Christmas light drives and watched all of our family favorite movies, which we are quick to assume everyone should love.
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| So much Christmas joy in one pic 🙂 We have a love-hate relationship with puzzles. |
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| Two of my favorite guys |
At this stage in our relationship I feel very much at home with his parents and my brothers and sisters-in-law. There have been no tense moments in my first Christmas outside of Texas. In fact, it’s been enlightening and relaxing and fantastic. There are no kiddos yet on the Grevers side, so family get togethers have a different dynamic. My mom emailed us the name of whomever we were to play secret Santa for. During the gift exchange I found out Papa Ed Grevers and I had each other. I think I got at least six wrapped gifts from Ed. A candle, stunning earrings, personalized stationary, soap, Nike sweatbands, and more. They were all so thoughtful, and I could tell he actually did the shopping himself (which I think is novel in marriage). I’ve got a sweet pop-in-law alright. The family played a heated game of Risk, puzzled, watched It’s A Wonderful Life (my Christmas requirement), helped cook (a tiny bit), and went to see The Hobbit part II.
No snow cover for my first Chicago Christmas, but I felt so covered in love! I am so thankful for the gift of my family (blood and in-law) this holiday season. Happy 2015 everyone.
